Dear James,
Today is June 8th, 2015. For the past 12 years, I happily celebrated my wedding anniversary. Today though, it is just another Monday. Nothing special. Just a reminder of how much our lives have changed in the past 10 months.
Last year was my last "real" wedding anniversary. Your Dad was already having an affair. I wouldn't find out for another two months.
We did what had become a tradition. We went out to dinner at Winston's Grille in Raleigh. We'd celebrated many anniversaries there. I bought your Dad some good-smelling cologne. He'd been without for a while and I knew he wanted some. He bought me a set of cast-iron soap dishes....and a beer tab bracelet. I never understood why he bought it. I thought it was about something funny that I had forgotten. But no. There was never an explanation for it. Once I learned the truth about the affair though, I wondered if he and Melissa had a good laugh about something at my expense.
That's what infidelity does. It ruins any beautiful or funny memories you ever had. Everything becomes tainted. Everything you ever held dear about your marriage becomes a mirage. It can't be trusted. All the picture albums, vacations, special dinners....they are all forever held in suspension.
I tell you this to remind you that loving someone is a decision you make. Every day. God gave us free will so we can choose to love. Choose to love Him and each other. It's what makes love a gift. It has to be freely given. And when that happens, it's so amazing and powerful. And when it's taken away unexpectedly, it is a betrayal like no other. So, when you find love, James, love with your whole heart. Let her never doubt how much you care. Show her. As a man, God requires you to use all that strength of body and heart for others. So love her. Always. And forever.
Love you son. Love you the most.
