Child's Garden

It's only a few days after Christmas and I am able to sit down and think about education. I surprise myself. I did get two books I had been wanting to read though and that may have put my butt in gear. I got The Early Years: A Charlotte Mason Preschool Handbook and Better Late than Early by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. Both books speak to the idea of waiting to start a formal education for children. We're talking as late as 8 to 10 years old. That is just unheard of! The BLTE (Better Late than Early) book is a book of technical information and research about how a child's brain develops and through that research put forth the evidence that waiting to start a formal education is actually better for the child. Now, they are NOT saying to just sit around and do nothing with a child for their first 8 to 10 years of life. Heck no! They are saying that waiting to start the academics is better conducted when the child is more mature, etc. They have other arguments but I just started reading it. I can see that this one is going to be tough to finish. It is VERY technical. The CM (Charlotte Mason) book is quite different. She also says that waiting to start formal academics is best but she suggests starting at age 6 or 7. I love her theories and how she wrote. I could devour that one. The reason I wanted these two books has to do with a sort of knowing I have about how to best teach James. I have a strong conviction that slowing down the busy, activity-driven life that James COULD have is the right path. Society says that our kids should be playing soccer or t-ball and taking gymnastics or karate, music lessons and art class. No. I think waiting is the key and I need respected sources to keep myself sane. Well, easier said than done. It goes completely against the grain of what is the norm today. CM (Charlotte Mason) says that the early years of a child's life should be a "quite growing time". I love that. It makes me breath a sigh of relief really. Truly, in the early years, a child's education is self-guided. They are learning and observing EVERYTHING around them. It's a parent's job to guide the child to "right habits of thinking and behaving and nourishing their mind with loving, right and noble ideas". That's what Charlotte Mason said. Isn't that what we ALL want for our children? Did you know that the word "kindergarten" means "child's garden"? I am 40 years old and I never knew that. Is kindergarten these days like a child's garden where they can explore and play and grow? Kindergarten as we now know it was started in Germany by Friedrich Froebel. The main activities of his Play and Activity Institute was singing, dancing, gardening and self-directed play with basic toys or "gifts" as he called them. That ain't the kindergarten of today. But I want James' "kindergarten" to be a garden. It means Chris and I chose the influences around him right now. I know all the people in his life and the activities that he does. If he were in kindergarten at the public school I would have to accept that all the kids and the teacher in his classroom would possibly have a greater influence over him than me and that I would not know everything he does for those 6 hours he is away from me. THAT is unacceptable. I am pretty sure that his "garden" is here at home in our fun yellow room...and beyond.

My Top 10 list for December

I write now out of guilt. It's been over 2 weeks since my last post and I am so tired. James and Chris are both gone right now. Chris got a chance to play golf today and since I am working he took James to my mom's house for the day. So I will do a top 10 list of memorable events for the month of December.

10. James got a video message from Santa yesterday! THE most adorable thing ever. You don't even need to be a parent to enjoy this, it can be sent to adults too. The best part? You get to choose if they have been naughty or nice! Portable North Pole

9. James believes in JoeJohn the Elf's magic. It was questionable when he arrived the day after Thanksgiving.

8. Most. adorable. picture. with Santa. EVER. (I am totally biased on this one)

7. When I asked James what he wanted to get Daddy for Christmas, without hesitation, he responded, "A fart machine!". This is doubly hilarious because he tells EVERYONE that Daddy farts. It's goes like this, "Hi. I'm James. I am 4. My Daddy farts in the house."

6. I finished getting my Christmas cards out in the mail. I think. I am pretty sure. Yeah. I did.

5.  I found out that James likes a certain kind of craft- pipe cleaners! I took him to the Lighthouse Christmas Craft Fair and he liked making the candy canes out of pipe cleaners and beads. Cool! I love that do so I think he may get that from me. I used to make beaded jewelry (yes, used to. sigh) and I started by stringing beads in college. It was therapeutic. Of course, his 7-year-old cousin write books as an afternoon craft....with illustrations and everything!

4. Chris has some time off right now and it's nice to see him more.

3. I am looking forward to Christmas Eve (I realize this hasn't actually happened yet.). We will get to spend time with my sister and her family, my parents and our neighbors and the family they have with them this year.

2. I celebrated my sister's, mom's and father-in-law's birthdays in a week's time. They did this on purpose. Never mind. No they didn't.

1. And, lastly, I am happy. With all the craziness of the holidays and our regular daily schedules that we juggle, I don't think I could be much happier. I feel lucky every day to have the life I have.

Day of Discipline

We had a full DAY of discipline on Wednesday which left me feeling completely icky and drained by the time I had to leave the house for work after dinner. A friend actually asked me that night, "Um, you didn't think you'd have days like that?" Well, yes, I know children test their parents but I am still exasperated at the sheer relentless of their goal! Does James go to naptime prepared to make tons of noise?!?!?! I really don't think so but he knows the choices and he is choosing option 3...there is no option 3! James has been having a real hard time being quite during naptime since we changed the rules about it. I recognized that he may not need a nap everyday so I reduced naptime to an hour and told him he could rest or play QUIETLY in his room. After a week or so of not-so-quite nap hours, I told James that I had made a mistake, "Playing during naptime is not such a good idea. It's so hard to be quite. So you can read your books or rest.". Wednesday I walked down the hall 3 times and was just at my wits end. I need that quite time and I want him to have some time during the day to just stop and be still. He played with his joke machine...it tells knock-knock jokes and the like. As I tore down the hall, I got the idea to leave the door open. Apparently he thinks I can't hear anything if his door is closed. Silence. For 15 whole minutes. When he came into my room to tell me his clock was yellow, I had a thought. He needs to understand what it feels like to stay up until midnight like Mommy does. We couldn't do it on Thursday night so it was a delayed consequence. I told him the plan and he was excited! He even thanked me for letting him stay up all night long yesterday afternoon. By 6pm last night, he asked me when was midnight. I responded, "Oh. You have 6 more hours before bedtime James.". Silence. By 8:30 he was jumping and dancing around the living room. This is a tell-tell sign of a young child getting tired. They won't be still. They're afraid they might fall asleep if they stop and that is unacceptable. By 9:15, the mood was quite different.
"Mommy, is it bedtime yet?", he asks with a little concern in his voice. I check the clock. "Oh no sweetheart. You have about 2 and a half hours left to go before midnight.".
"But I am tired Mommy.", he groans.
"I know Sweetheart. It's so hard to stay up late when you don't have a nap."

Then came the waterworks and the one-liners that made me laugh outloud! It's now about 9:45pm and he is really REALLY tired. He is laying on the landing upstairs watching TV with me and begging me to "change my rule" so he can go to bed. He tells me, "My whole darn body is so tired! I need rest Mommy!" and I died laughing! He was really pitiful and every time he told me he was tired, I would say something to show empathy. It wouldn't have worked to tell him, "See! Now do you understand about Mommy being tired! Naptime is quiet time!" At 11pm I put him to bed. He was so glad. We are going to do naptime today to reinforce the lesson. I will gently remind him, "We can stay up all night again...if you want to. I will know you want to if you are making noise during naptime. See you in an hour.". Interestingly, he never tried to put HIMSELF to bed. I was waiting for that. I guess it's just not the same if Mommy or Daddy aren't turning on the music and his stars. And the kisses. Can't forget the kisses.

Tot Clock. Love me a Tot Clock!

Passion for Christmas

Well, my "rant" about Christmas yesterday evoked a few responses whether here (1 comment), private emails or face-to-face exchanges. One of those comments came from my husband and I didn't even think he READ my blog! LOL Well, he still may not have read yesterday's post, he could have talked to his mother last night. She shares our love of the Berenstain Bears books. And that's what my husband Chris emailed me about last night. It was about the son (Mike) of Jan and Stan Berenstain who, later in life, joined in the family business and they began writing a series of their beloved books called Living Lights "books of faith". So some of them ARE labeled "christian"...but not all of them. And part of my ire at Barnes and Noble was that the policy of labeling ALL of them "christian" does not seem to be the policy in all the stores. The B&N at Triangle Towne Center has the books displayed with the "twaddle" and I don't even know if that particular store HAS a children's religious section of books. Luckily, I now have a better understanding of where to find the various books that we love so much. As for books about the Nativity, I was so frustrated by my experience in a mainstream bookstore that I went to Facebook for help. I knew if I posted the question about needing suggestions for a great children's book I would get a response. And, within minutes, I did! Here are a few of the great recommendations:
Song of the Stars: A Christmas Story by Sally Lloyd-Jones
The Cobweb Curtain: A Christmas Story by Barclay and Baynes
The Very First Christmas by Paul Maier
Child of the Promise by Stormie Omartian

Now I just have to decide which one to get! All of them look so beautiful and just what I am looking for in a way to teach this and enjoy this with James.

Now the last of the comments I received about my blog post from yesterday comes from an anonymous source (as far as you all will be concerned). As I read my friend's comments that were privately sent, I realize how BLESSED I am to know such interesting people. I work in a field that is made up largely of the liberal-leaning political kind...and I stand with a few conservatives. And we all get along. My work has also allowed me to meet other Christians (some WAY more devout than I), Muslims, Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses and Jews. We have varying life experiences and educational backgrounds and we all have a unique story in how we came to be sign language interpreters. So, in reading my friend's words, I was thinking how amazing it is that I know someone who has has all this information and is willing to share it. My friend spoke of the pagan beginnings of WHY Christmas is celebrated in Winter when, mostly likely, Jesus was actually born in Summer or Fall. The Winter Solstice was celebrated as a new beginning as the days slowly began to get longer and so with this rebirth of nature, so came the celebration of the birth of Jesus. And my friend wrote:

Christmas and Easter were both pagan holidays adopted by Christianity to assimilate native populations so that they may keep their own traditions and celebrations and be more willing to "convert."

Christmas: Dec 25th originates from the celebration of "Saturnalia" when groups worshiped the Sun god. The shortest, coldest, darkest day of the year was chosen -- along with EVERGREEN trees, lights (candles then), and gifts - these were placed to 'beckon' the Sun god to return during a great festival. This was believed to bring back their source of heat, light, and deity from a great slumber.
The bible doesn't quote a specific date that Jesus was born on - but it is estimated to be around early October - he COULDN'T have been born Dec 25th, outside in a stable, as Bethlehem's regional Dec climate is in the 20s to 30s. Plus, the shepherds cannot keep their flocks out at night in that temperature as mentioned being the case when he was born.
(side note: the three wise men didn't find and meet Jesus until he was 2/3 years old - not as a baby)


As a reminder to myself that this is a blog about homeschooling, all of this is absolutely relevant! I am flushing out WHAT I will teach James about my (actually mine and my husband's) World View. Again, in my humble opinion, it is better to have a deep understanding of the WHY's of things and also to understand other world views. Often knowing what else is out there in the world STRENGTHENS one's own beliefs. Besides, how else can one defend their own truths. But then again, it's all just a leap of faith.

A Bone to pick with Barnes & Noble

James and I were at Barnes & Noble booksellers at Crabltree Valley Mall last Friday. I needed to get the next book in the series I am reading and I wanted to get a children's book of the Nativity story for James. I encountered two issues in doing this. One, the selection of books in large display area in the children's section has all sorts of books about Santa Claus. Some are traditional stories like "The Nutcracker" and "Twas the Night Before Christmas". But then there is "Disney Christmas Storybook Collection" and "Fancy Nancy", "Charlie Brown" and "SpongeBob". And over on the far right are small board books of the Nativity story. I counted 4: 2 board books and 2 storybooks. One of the storybooks was nice...until you read it to the end. THAT book paralleled the birth of Jesus to new parents today experiencing the birth of their child. Um, excuse me, but Jesus wasn't just ANY baby. While I marveled at the birth of my own son...he is NOT the son of God and the two stories don't mesh when thinking about WHY Christians celebrate Christmas. It might be appropriate in some other context, in my humble opinion. The second problem I encountered was when I asked for help from customer service to locate other Nativity story books. I thought maybe I had missed them or something. Maybe they had a special display table elsewhere in the store. No, they didn't. The man directed me to the "religion section" in the children's area. I use the term loosely because there was a bunch of children's bibles (which were quite lovely) but no Nativity storybooks. But, to my horror, I found ALL the Berenstain Bear books! They were hidden away in the CHRISTIAN religious section (i.e., 1 small bookcase). I was so confused. The Berenstain Bears books are NOT religious. Not all of them anyway. There is one about "sunday school" and one about "God loving you" and "saying prayers"...but "treat or treat" and "the sitter" and "a visit to the dentist" hardly count as religious! And when exactly did teaching MORALS (or learning about the dentist) become synonymous with RELIGION? Can't one teach morals without the religious context? SURE you can! I was angry because the books with something to teach (that Charlotte Mason may not necessarily lable "twaddle") are kept separate from the other paperback books for kids that WOULD be "twaddle" like SpongeBob, Dora the Explorer, Superhero books, and Biscuit books. If I hadn't been looking for a book about the Nativity, I would have assumed that the bookstore just didn't have any Berenstain Bear books. James needs to know exactly WHY we celebrate Christmas. He needs to know that it's not just about Santa Claus and toys and Christmas decorations. Besides, in this day and age, Santa Claus is so far removed from the "Reason for the Season" that anyone of any religion could join in the fun. I wonder why it hasn't happened yet really. Some sweet grandfatherly old man gives out toys to GOOD boys and girls. Can't one work on character development here and completely edit out the religious beginnings of it all? Sure! History of Santa Claus In fact, the only Christian aspect of Santa Claus is that Saint Nicholas of 4th Century Greece was the giver of gifts. Now, I am thinking about the REAL reason Christians celebrate Easter. What does Easter eggs  and jellybeans have to do with it? Oh, my head hurts! But just one more thing, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Change of Plans

Its been about 15 days since my last post and I honestly can't tell you WHAT I have been doing but I can tell you that I have been busy. It's not a big secret or anything like that. I have been working and I was preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday. I put up our Christmas tree. But other than those measurable things, I have no clue. I think that's the life of a Mom. You are so busy with the raising of children...but most days there are no measurable outcomes. I can't point to a specific thing that James can now miraculously do that he couldn't do yesterday. BUT, I can tell you, for example, that I have been focusing on teaching him the act of asking for something he wants rather than demanding it. It takes diligence which can be exhausting! Add to that the needs of a family like someone to do the laundry, cooking, cleaning and paying bills and I am spent. I have even let our daily lessons go to the wayside. And I had a realization today: When we do school in the mornings, it is the only time of the day when James has my undivided attention. I don't know whether to laugh or cry about that. I am now wondering if that is why he has been so, hmm, spirited lately. I must get us on track again and to do that I must set limits for myself. My biggest distraction is the cleaning that needs to be done at home. I get to straightening the living room and the next thing you know I have started more laundry, folded a load out of the dryer, emptied the dishwasher, threw something in the crockpot, rearranged some knick knacks and messed around on Facebook...while James is watching yet another episode of Dinosaur Train. Yep, I gotta set limits for myself so that I giving some of that energy to James each day.


We had a very nice Thanksgiving and one of the things I am most grateful for is the visit we had from Lisa DeMarco and her son Jonah the day before Thanksgiving. She is a homeschool Mom and a physical therapist who works part time. She had emailed me that she wanted to meet James and I was happy to have her come over. She was wonderful and gave me her opinions about the toe walking. She thought it seemed like a rather unusual case of toe walking because most kids have some other issue that causes it like sensory issues or muscle tone issues. But not James. Prior to her visit, I had cancelled our appointment with James' occupational therapist. I just couldn't justify going when all they would do was an evaluation. Well, I know the outcome of that- he still walks on his toes! Lisa thought that daily stretches and possibly braces would help. The braces would be worn at night to encourage muscle stretching. We agreed that some yoga would be a great thing to add to our weekly activities. She was going to do some checking around and get back to me. James liked Jonah and they ended up outside playing baseball for a while. I love me some homeschooled kids!

Heading back to OT

James is a toe-walker. He is on his toes almost all the time. Ever since he started walking really. Right after his second birthday, we started physical therapy and we did that once a week for one year. He is still walking on his toes. My gut tells me that it's not a physical issue but a sensory issue. Physical therapy didn't help then and it won't help him now. Yesterday, I called the facility we went to because I want to have him re-evaluated. And the fact that the facility set his appointment with the physical therapist he used to work with did not instill any confidence that they understand his needs. I remember the PT telling me that it wasn't helping (he also added that he thought James needed speech therapy because he couldn't understand him. He seemed to be the only one though) and suggested we try working with one of the Occupational therapist. It was a great experience! I learned that James had some other sensory issues like crossing his midline (reaching across his body rather than rotating his entire body to reach, touch etc), vestibular issues and, of course, oral/food sensory issues. Now James will be seeing the OT he saw over a year ago. She is sweet but awfully young. There was not much attention paid to his oral sensory issues. This time around, we have a different insurance plan with limited visits each year. I have to make the most of what is being offered. I took the risk of asking parents of the homeschool coop for any information they could share. I knew some of the moms had experience as PT's and OT's and I wanted to get their expertise advice. But of course I opened myself up for any and all opinions. One Dad emailed me back right away and diagnosed James as being autistic and suggested we try a special diet because it worked for his kid. Thanks but no thanks. But with the risk comes reward. One mom emailed me last night who used to work as a speech therapist in a multidisciplinary team with children. I was so excited! She was encouraging and even recommended a place for us to try too. But my dang insurance is not cooperating so I am back to the facility we went to. If it weren't for my fear that continued toe-walking could damage leg muscles and tendons I would let it be. But I know that some kids require braces, special shoes or even surgery to correct the damage. James has already been through 2 surgeries in his short life and it was hard on me! He did great! I can't imagine the recovery and PT required after a surgery like that and I don't want first-hand experience with it. Wish us luck.

Going Rogue

It's official. I have completely left behind the curriculum I bought to use this year. It assumes that a preschooler knows nothing AT ALL about letters or numbers or word meanings and I find it completely tedious. So I am being creative and working on James' strengths and encouraging him to develop skills that he needs but isn't quite interested in yet. Today we did a hodge-podge of things. I guess that's how it will be from now on. Always, we start with the calendar, the Pledge and Show-and-Tell. We then read 2 poems (James got to participate in one of them). I read "Three Little Kittens" and James did the "miaow, miaow, miaow" part for each stanza. I read the story of "Sarah and the Toys" in which they come to life and play with her one night. After that, 3 worksheets: an alphabet maze, handwriting (he always complains) and Thanksgiving addition. Even though James might him and haw about handwriting, he takes great care in his attempts. I give him praise and that is motivation enough for him to continue just a little more. He practiced writing "James Hutchinson" today. He said his hand was tired and so I told him that was enough. Baby steps. I had found some numbers flashcards not too long ago so I convinced James to count. He counted to 50. He's never done that before and he enjoyed it. And lastly, he practiced saying his ABC song. Hilarious. When he gets to "L-M-N-O-P", he doesn't yet realize that he is saying the letters super fast so it sounds like a word. He loses his place after that. As always, learning happens all the time, not just in the fun yellow room. Yesterday, even though we didn't "do school", James, Chris and I went to Blue Jay Point Park. We hiked by Falls lake and collected an assortment of acorns, we through big and small rocks into the lake and made BIG splashes and small ones. We looked for the disturbance in the water that was a tell-tell sign of fish nearby. We marveled at all the shiny sand. We figured there must be a lot of shale around or something. James got to play on the playground and practice hitting the baseball with me and Chris. I see some baseball in his future. Smile.

Time goes by

It's been over a week since my last post. I knew when I started this that I would not be able to do this on a daily basis. Partly to blame is my schedule, but also I am a real-life mother and wife with daily activities that keep me constantly on the go. However, I am happy to report that last week we were on vacation and that is the reason for the absence. We drove down to Orlando to visit Nana and Pop-Pop. We enjoyed Halloween with them and Uncle Mark and Aunt Jill. James dressed up as Optimus Prime- muscles and all. He went trick-or-treating and even helped pass out candy to the witches and zombies that came to Nana and Pop-Pop's house. I'm not sure which part he liked best. We even got to take our first trip to Disney's Magic Kingdom too. One of the best moments for me to witness during our vacation was during an evening after we had all eaten dinner and sat around talking. James sat with Nana for a bit and showed her all the cool games he plays on Mommy's phone. And then, as he looked at the spiderweb decoration Nana had hung, James says, "Spiderweb. That starts with an "S"." "That's right", I say. He looks around the room for another object and says, "House. House starts with an "S"". I said, "No, but house ends with an "S"". He thought about it a moment and said, "Squirrel starts with "S".". "Yes!", I said, "That's right". I have heard it time and again from homeschooling moms that one day, all of a sudden, your child gets it. And that's what happened with James that night. We have talked about the letters and the sounds they make but he had never participated in the activity very much. But! He was listening! We even sounded out the word "Transformer" the other night during storytime. He is on the road to reading for sure. I am keeping calm though. I want him to love learning and always be excited about books and what's in them. One other funny thing (sort of) that happened while on vacation was that James got a blister on his pinky toe one day while out walking. That's not the funny part. When he saw the popped blister with the skin hanging there on his little toe....he....freaked....out. Cried and screamed and begged for a band-aid. That's not the funny part either. With band-aid and Neosporin in place, the crying and whining continued. He couldn't stop thinking about the blister. To get his mind off of the darn thing, I said to him, "James, how do you spell your name? Can you spell it for me?". And here's the funny part: He whines, "J-A-M-E-S!". Just like that! Nana, Aunt Jill and I were kind of stunned. I thought it would take him a few seconds at least; that he'd have to think about it. But NOOOOOOO! The kid has been holding back on me! The blister made top billing from his vacation. He had to tell everyone about it or asked that I tell MawMaw and DiDi about it. He needed to know WHO had had a blister before and what did they do. Did it hurt? How long did it take for it to go away? This child will NOT be a doctor...for people. No way. But that's ok. He said he was going to be a hunter instead. Don't even ask.

Halloween Trick-or-Treating

Watching the 3 O'clock Parade at Disney

Things a 4-year-old says

1. 100-year-old man completes the marathon. After seeing this photo of the centenarian who completed a marathon, James asked, "Mom! Is that God?"
2. Does everyone live in the United States? What's the United States?
3. I fink I will try new foods when I am 100.
4. I fink when I was a baby, I didn't fink about much.
5. Are we going to Harris the Teeter?
6. Do you like my voice Mommy? I like yours. It sounds great to me.
7. Do you like Daddy's voice Mommy?
8. James: I love you. Me: I love you too sweet baby. James: Fanks Mommy.
9. Do I look fabulous?
10. Mom! Don't comb my handsome hair!
11. Are you proud of me? What's "proud of me" mean?
12. Is steak an animal? What kind? What about hamburger? Is that steak?
13. I need to floss after I swish and spit.
14. After anything fun, James always asks, "What was your favorite park?"
15. Sparky is my brover (brother). (Sparky is the dog)
    

Something's going on...

Something is amiss around here with James. He hit Brandi with his Croc snowboot out of the blue the other night while she was over at our house craving our pumpkin. I sent him to timeout. He didn't argue or cry. Later that same night, he wanted an apple and I told him there was one in the refrigerator with a bite taken out of it. The teethmarks are his. He took a bite out of one from the bowl anyway. I sent him to timeout. There was no arguing and no crying. This morning, he asked for my very last piece of mint gum and I told him no. While I was out this morning, he got his stool from his bathroom, took it to my room and got it anyway. I know this because he told me when I saw him chewing gum after I returned home. I took the gum that we save for him and I made him spit out the mint gum he took. He didn't even seem to mind. No tantrum. No crying. Did he know it was wrong? I don't know what is going on. As I am writing this, I am thinking, "Am I saying "no" too much?". Do I need to rephrase my words so it always sounds like I am saying yes? For example, "Yes, James you can have some gum, strawberry or orange? The mint piece is mine.". It doesn't explain why he hit Brandi with his boot. Did he just want to play? Was he frustrated for some reason? He wanted to use the pumpkin carving tools so bad but didn't want to be taught how to use them. He just wanted to stab the little pumpkin I had for him. So, I let him. He was happy doing that. I carved a face on "Little Jack" for him and he liked the candle-lighting ceremony outside. With all this unruly behavior going on lately, I have picked up my Love and Logic book in the hopes I will find some answers in it. The 2 things that have recently stuck with me is that, #1 the more control we try to exert on our kids, the more they push back...at any age. And, #2, we can't control what they eat OR what they think. It's a little terrifying and a little freeing to know that. The book's premise is that parents need to raise children that will become moral, responsible adults who can make sound decisions. And, even an infant can make decisions (with boundaries) and should be allowed to do so. I am telling myself this is a phase. For now. I am also reminding myself that my child is not perfect (can you even believe it?!? ;)) and he shouldn't be expected to be such. And, lastly, I am not perfect. Oh the horror! Ha! No need to comment if you agree. Hmmmm. Maybe he needs MORE activity. His curiosity is insatiable here lately. Well, we do have 2 field trips this week. We are going to the farm tomorrow to learn how butter is made and to play, play, play. He will have a sleep over with MawMaw also. And on Friday, we are going to Daylight Donuts to see how donuts are made. That should keep his busy little mind and his busy little body occupied.

The Food Pantry

James and I went to help out at Faith Baptist Church Food Pantry yesterday. We had a great time! The church takes in donated food for their food pantry but they also buy food from the NC Food Bank for 18 cents a pound. Folks from the church and from Lighthouse homeschool association help out once a month to bag all the groceries and get them ready for pick up by people in the late afternoon. The church actually supports many people who depend on them every month for food. More than half of them are elderly folks in the community. The remaining are families with children. We prepared about 384 bags of groceries! James was excited to "work". My favorite part of the whole experience was watching James meet new friends while we were there. He was eager to help out but a little small and this one young boy (age 8) took James under his wing. He said, "Hey James! Come with me! We need to put some cereal in the bags." James ran over and they started putting boxes of cereal in the bags. What's also exciting (for me) is that this little boy is also homeschooled and is a member of Lighthouse. That means we will see him again. :) His mom and I got along well too. It was just a great experience with a bunch of nice, caring people doing something good for the community. We are going to the grocery store today and we will be picking up some additional items to donate to the food pantry. The church always keeps additional bags of groceries for emergency needs and this month that has been depleted. The NC Food Bank didn't bring their regular truck because they have been busy with the NC State Fair. One day during the fair, people can bring canned goods and get in for free. I think the NC Food Bank was busy this week collecting all the canned goods from the fair. Nevertheless, I have already marked our calendar for November. I can't wait!

James is working so hard!

Finding a Balance & Plan B

With these tough economic times, my paycheck just doesn't seem to go as far as it used to. I am grateful to have a job and that I can work at night. But here lately, I have been working more hours than ususal (29 hours/week) and then doing some additional work out in the community. Here's an explanation of what I normally do. The video is tough to understand if you don't use sign language but I basically interpret phone calls and the service is a 24/7 service. Anyway, yesterday we were supposed to go on a field trip to a local farm but it was rescheduled due to the nasty, rainy weather we had. I was relieved. I was tired from working the night before. James didn't want to go either. He said he didn't want to get  his shoes muddy. Hmmm. So, we had already decided to skip the trip before we found out it had been cancelled for the day. After that, we moved into Plan B for the day. In our pajamas until the afternoon. For me, that was hard. That little voice inside tells me that I am a lazy bum when I am in my pj's too long. But we did stuff! We made pancakes for breakfast. I did some laundry. I did take a shower. On the fly, our big project ended up being going through all of James' toys. That was pretty interesting. He had no problem separating his toys into a "play with" pile and a "don't play with" pile. He is eager to "donate the toys to someone's house".  I was happy to see that he didn't cherish things so much that he couldn't part with anything. And he was happy to discover toys that had fallen to the bottom of the toy basket. He hadn't seen them in a while. We were productive even though we were in our pj's! And James' favorite way of being is in his underwear and pajama shirt. It suits him just fine! He sees no point in getting dressed if he isn't going anywhere. Okie Dokie. I am always paranoid that the ONE day I am in my pj's all day, I will have a visitor pop-in. It never happens. But I like being prepared! Today, we ARE getting dressed and going to help out at the Food Pantry at a local church. James is excited about "working". I'll take my camera.

Following my Gut

I have two admissions here...

1. My gut instincts have always whispered, yelled at or compelled me to take this path, do that thing or walk  away. 
2. And I have not always been a great listener. Those times when I didn't listen to that voice, that nudge, I wished I had.

It's part of growing up and growing old(er), I guess, learning to listen to that voice, that feeling. I don't always hear a message. Sometimes it's a feeling of alarm or some other physical reaction, and I have to just go with it; trusting myself. Now, as we have started this homeschool adventure and actually doing it each day in some form or fashion, that feeling is trying to tell me something. See, I bought our PreK curriculum from Calvert School back in February of this year. I had been looking around for something, I didn't know any homeschoolers yet and I was feeling kind of alone, on my own, so I found a curriculum that had a built-in support for parents. I ordered it and I was very happy with my decision. It provides a traditional curriculum (i.e.what we would find in the public schools) and I am....bored with it. That may be the reason we didn't do any lessons last week. We were busy too but I wasn't motivated. I also must admit (this is #3!) that I am beginning to skip around in the lessons. I teach what I think is important or if I think it will capture James' attention or if I think he needs it. I am already rebelling and finding my own way. While Calvert and I are together now, we will be breaking up in the near future. Oh we are having a good time but it can't last forever. So, today I started to organize my favorite resources and creating notebooks for my Charlotte Mason material, general homeschool information and "stuff" I want to use with James. I have found a mentor and teacher for myself in a woman who lived 100 years ago in England. Go figure.

Lessons from the Animals

James loves animals. He likes to see them on TV, at the movies and the museum, in the backyard and in books.

One of our favorites is the Berenstain Bears. James LOVES them! And so do I! We have a growing collection of the books that started when he was a baby. We most recently ordered 3: Count Their Blessings, Strangers and A Case of the Gimmies. James loves the books so much that when we have read the acutal story, he wants me to read the inside of the back page which lists all the titles...there are 54! THEN, I have to read the titles on the back page that have pictures of the books that are featured. He can almost list them all by himself because he has memorized them. Our most treasured book is a hard-back book that used to belong to his Daddy.

In addition to the Berenstain Bears and since we haven't found a church to call home yet, I bought a kid's devotional book over the weekend. The Big Book of Animal Devotions is one I found in the bookstore. I like it. I read one story each day usually at nap time or bedtime. Each devotion includes a featured animal, a short Bible verse and a moral of the story. One is already sticking with James. The first devotion was about "thinking before speaking" and the moral of the story was "guard your tongue". The devotion taught that our words should be like medicine to people....helpful rather than hurtful. So, ever since, James has been asking if his words are like medicine. I like that. Another one that was recommended to me that I didn't find in the bookstore is Listen to the Animals. We may end up with 2 books of devotion. I will post about church another day. Lots to write about there. But for now, James is getting some education about God and what is expected of him. This is character building. This is habits as talked about by Charlotte Mason.

I have a curly kid, do you?

Aside from the field trips and informal lessons we are doing now, some of the most important learning for James at this age is character development and responsibility (habits). Actually, I will continue to teach these things along with the formal education. Charlotte Mason calls it laying down the rails and stressed the importance of teaching habits to children. She said that "laying down the rails" at an early age would lead to smototh and easy days down the road. One lesson that I will work on with James is grooming. He has a beautiful head of curly hair and I am teaching him to LOVE his curls. He KNOWS I think he is super handsome when he has "crazy hair". I am teaching him to spray his hair in the morning with the lavender water I made and comb it with a wide-toothed comb. Spraying hair is super fun! It makes him laugh. Curly hair requires special attention. For him, I am using Devacurl products and methods for caring for curly hair. If you have a curly kid, I highly recommend their products. They make a great handbook too. :)

My curly kid

Time Management

It has been a busy week. The analogy of managing our lives is like juggling seems to be fairly accurate. I had lots of balls in the air this week. We went to see a free concert at the North Carolina Museum of History on Sunday, had the HVAC guy come out for a "tune-up" on our systems on Monday, we went on a field trip on Tuesday and I took some extra work yesterday in addition to my regular work schedule. Today is Smoothie & Movie day. It's rainy outside, we don't have to be anywhere and pj's are good. :) As I write this post, James is looking at his "homework". He found a dinosaur sticker book and he's looking at that. He has learned about homework from our neighbors. His favorite playmate can't always run outside to play when she gets home from school because SHE has homework. I'm sure it sounds awfully important to him. We haven't done any "formal" lessons this week but there sure has been a lot of learning taking place. We will get to it today for a short time this morning. I have to constantly remind myself that we should have fun and do lessons when we can. He won't be a preschooler forever and this is a GREAT time to go out and have adventures. And we are having a great time.

Blind Boy Chocolate and the Milk Sheiks

Colonial Living Week at Alamance Battleground

Putting a Flourishing Imagination to good use

I love being the mother of a 4-year-old! I must admit that being a mother of a 3-year-old was a bit of challenge...even tougher than being the mother of a 2-year-old. I tell my mommy friends that the 3's are harder than the 2's because the child is testing their intellectual muscles rather than their physical muscles but they are harder to reason with. Once they become four, the conversations get a bit more interesting. Right now, James' imagination is going wild! It's great. Yesterday he was "mailbot". He found a box and put toys in it and then he would bring it to me where ever I was in the house and say, "I have a package for you." And I would have to open it. In it, there was always toys for James. Nothing for me! But, art imitates life and James is the one who gets all the packages around here. The day before that, I dubbed him "Rainman". It had nothing to do with the movie. He was playing with an umbrella and he came up to me and asked me if I knew his name. I took one look at him with the umbrella on his shoulder and I said, "You're Rainman." Well, it stuck. It turned out to be an interesting day. "Rainman" stuck around while James was at work (he works at the mall apparently) and he called me "Connie" or "James' Mom". The most wonderful part of the day was when Chris came home and we sat down to eat dinner. Rainman joined us. I introduced him to Chris and he shook his hand and said, "Hello Chris". He ate cereal instead of trying the vegetable soup I had made but he wanted to know if James tried new foods. We told him that James is a little scared to try new foods and maybe he could help by talking to James. He pretended to talk to his invisible friend James who was sitting at the table with us. Rainman reported that James said he would try it. Then, we convinced him to SHOW James how to try new food. It worked! "Rainman" showed James how to eat a couple of carrot pieces from the soup. It was wonderful to see him try something that he was really reluctant to do. We praised him and he was really proud of himself. I think I like Rainman. He can stay as long as he likes!

The Food Connection

James knows about food. His Daddy is the co-founder of Carolina Grown here in North Carolina and he knows where most of his food comes from. He has been to the farm where his beloved chocolate milk is made, the apple orchard in the mountains where we get our beautiful apples this time of year and he has picked strawberries to bring home. This sort of learning isn't found in the curriculum but it's important for kids (and adults) to have an understanding of where their food comes from. Currently, James is a self-imposed vegetarian and if the food comes from the farmer he will eat it. He is a picky eater; not to be confused with a problem eater. Again, not in the curriculum but we need to talk about food daily. I cook most nights and he likes to help me out in the kitchen. We also make sure that James sees us enjoying all sorts of healthy foods. I am trying to get a little creative and incorporate discussions about food into our daily lessons. That part of the lessons will mostly move to the kitchen where we will do taste testing with some of his favorite foods to talk about taste, texture, temperature and the flavor strength. He's an auditory learner and, hopefully, talking about food in this way will help him to be just a tad more adventurous in trying new foods. Maybe he'll even eat TWO chicken nuggets next time!

Finding My Groove

Last year, life was pretty easy. I had signed up James for the YMCA preschool program 2 times a week for their morning program. He loved it and I loved having some time to do extra work, go shopping or just be at home. He was 3 years old and I thought the 3's were much more challenging that the 2's. He started to learn his ABC's, count and write his name. As the summer was coming to an end and the time drew nearer for us to start doing something "formal" with the Calvert School PreK curriculum I bought last February on sale, I started to panic. How was I going to do this when I am working a part-time job 4 nights a week until  midnight? I need to plan and I need to sleep. I really need sleep. I shouldn't have worried so much because a comfortable pattern started to emerge once we started doing lessons in the morning. James and I enjoy our chocolate milk and coffee respectively. And while James is watching yet another episode of PBS' Dinosaur Train (he says he is going to be a dinosaur doctor. That's 4-year-old speak for paleontologist), I go into our fun yellow room and look at the day's lesson. Since he is a preschooler, it doesn't take too long and we always add our own parts to the lessons. My goal this year is to continue to encourage his curiosity and eagerness to do lessons. On some of our usually busy days, Dad (Chris) has stepped in to do lessons in the evening with James. That was a nice surprise that I hadn't anticipated when I was worried about being over-tired and when/how to plan. I have also created some specific goals for James that have developed during the past couple of months. I want him to enjoy writing so we still do handwriting practice on a small scale. When he gets tired of it, we stop. Chris and I are also teaching him to memorize his address and phone number. And we have lots of field trips planned. Right now is a great time to explore. So this month we are going to a battlefield (They have a cannon! And they are going to shoot it!), another free concert, a farm, a doughnut shop, and helping out at the Food Pantry by bagging groceries for folks who are in need. Oh! And participating in the Family Softball Game day. Learning IS fun! And I can do this!

Learning Styles

If 90% of teaching is knowing the child, that has to include knowing their learning style. This part may not be necessarily intuitive like sensing when your child is tired or hungry or when he's had enough or when he is content or when he is ready for a new challenge. But it isn't hard to figure out. Google would be an excellent place to start. Just type "learning styles" and see what you get. What's your style? is a quick quiz you can take to help determine your learning style. Be sure to also answer it with your child/children in mind. James is, without a doubt, a auditory learner! He can "talk your ear off", can remember jingles and TV commercials effortlessly, he can express himself verbally and he LOVES verbal praise. There is more to being an auditory learner but these are some of the highlights that jumped out at me that James absolutely exhibits. He also loves music and can hear the beginning of a song or piece of music and tell me the name of it. Right now his favorite music is "Peter and the Wolf" narrated by Sir Alec Guinness (you know, Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars) and a CD our cousin Bev sent him of the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra playing all of composer, John Williams' best and most famous works- Star Wars, Raider of the Lost Ark, Superman, E.T. and so on. He also like the "Red Hot Peppers (Red Hot Chili Peppers) and plays a mean air drum to "Higher Ground". So, what's your learning style?

90% of teaching is knowing the child

The most surprising encounters I have had as I start this journey is meeting other moms...that used to be public school teachers or preschool teachers. The two moms I am thinking of had a child that the public schools labeled as "special needs" and so they were given an IEP (Individual Education Plan). A whole slew of people from the school get together to decide HOW they will teach this child. After that big ol' meeting their child is still not getting what they need so these mothers who were educated to be teachers pull their children out to do what they know needs to happen. And it can be done without an IEP when a child is homeschooled. As I chatted with one mom and telling her that I was nervous about homeschooling, she responded, "Don't worry. You will do a great job because you know your child. 90% of teaching is knowing the child. Every year that I taught school I would go to the teacher a particular child had the year before and ask HER about the child." Wow. That is interesting...and scary to me. What if that previous year's teacher told her a whole lot of negative stuff about my child...or about me? I can just imagine, "His mom is kind of annoying. She calls the school often. And he is....". I won't go there. I know that homeschooling will free us to do what needs to be done without those "special" labels. I already know James so well. I know sometimes that when he is talking even more that usual, he wants my attention and I can pick him up and set him in my lap and he is quiet. When he wants to cuddle, he will come stand next to me and wait for me to pick him up. Ahhhh. I am already 90% there. :)

It's the beginning

I am such a newbie. But the best part about that is I don't have to unlearn any bad habits (yet) or start in the middle. Nope. I am starting from scratch. S-C-A-R-Y. So naturally, I looked all over the internet. And found LOTS of things about homeschooling by people who homeschool. But I started to wonder if I would ever meet a real live homeschooler! They are busy people and hard to find! However, I was able to finally (and happily) find real live homeschoolers from the local homeschool association I joined about 2 months ago. They offered a "New to Homeschooling" mentoring class so I signed up. I am taking it with a couple of other moms who also have young ones like me. Boys even! So far, one of the best "take aways" from our discussions is that educating your child (or children) should not be seen as a separate part of your family life. It shouldn't be compartmentalized to a certain time of day or a certain place in your house, or even a certain way. Young children like James have a natural curiosity about EVERYTHING! So, learning happens all the time whether we are at the grocery store, making dinner, playing, hiking, tending our little garden or talking to grandparents on the phone. James' education is really an ongoing conversation between us. And for right now, that is exactly what he needs. We do have "lessons" most days. It takes us about 15 minutes or so. He says the Pledge of Allegience by yelling, "Red, White and Blue, I love you!" That might be my favorite part. :)

SW6908 Fun Yellow

SW6908 Fun Yellow. From Sherwin-Williams. That's the color I painted the office when it was time to start preparing to homeschool James. It had been SW6108 Latte. Quite a difference. I wanted a place for us that didn't feel stuffy and was....well, fun. I sold our home office furniture, took that money and went to IKEA! In the back of my mind I was worried that James would hate the yellow (even though it was fun) and decide the kitchen table was where we would do our lessons or even worse, the coffee table. But, he likes the yellow and always reminds me to go to the office to do our lessons in the fun yellow room. He even does show-and-tell only in the office. It's our place.



Fun Yellow Room becometh