North Carolina Home Educators Conference

 I wanted to take the time to make a plug for the North Carolina Home Educators Conference that will be held May 24-26 (Memorial Day weekend) in Winston-Salem, NC. Click here for a link to their website.

Every year they host a AMAZING conference. I have attended the last 2 years and this year will be my third. Early bird registration is open now and, for members, the cost is $50 and the deadline is April 20, 2012. I recommend paying the extra $3 for the speaker handout booklet. I love that thing! I can take notes in it and have a little information from all the various workshops over the course of the 3 days. During the conference, they also sell audio of ALL the workshops. You can dowload them as an MP3 file or buy a CD. They cater to all learning styles. ;)

The first year I attended I went alone. As I waited in line for my registration packet, I couldn't believe all the FAMILIES that were there together. Moms and Dads and kids of all ages- newborns to graduating students. All are welcome. And this year the conference is hosting their first ever Children's Conference for children ages 5-12. The older students normally have all sorts of activities like a dance, talent show, they volunteer at the conference and then there is a graduation ceremony on the last day.

Some readers/friends who are not currently homeschoolers have contacted me about homeschooling. They shared with me that they were considering it as a viable option for their family. This is a great place to learn so much about homeschooling. There are workshops on topics such as the state laws that apply to homeschooling, preschoolers, middle schoolers, high schoolers, preparing for college, specific learning challenges, homeschooling a large family, teaching writing or math and homeschool athletics. Here in North Carolina, there is a football league, basketball for girls and boys, volleyball, cross country, baseball, tennis and other sports coming soon due to demand. And if you aren't in North Carolina, find out what is available in your state. If you Google your state and the words "home educators" you are bound to get a hit on something useful. For example, I googled "Virginia home educators" and I got a hit for the Home Educators Association of Virginia.

Good Luck and hope to see you at the NCHE Conference in May.

Unsocialized Homeschooler on Board!

Ha! The first time I attended the North Carolina Home Educators conference, I saw a booth in the book fair selling any and everything that had that saying on it; bumper stickers, t-shirts, canvas bags and even little onsies. I smiled. At least I know that the majority of homeschoolers have a sense of humor about the question "outsiders" have regarding the socialization of our children. I know the type of socialization they are referring to. They are talking about socialization among their peers in school. But let me make something abundantly clear, homeschooled kids ARE socialized. They just don't spend 6 hours a day, 5 days a week with the same kids in the same school. Also, parents don't homeschool their children to isolate them from the world. On the contrary. I can't speak for all homeschoolers but we choose this path to give James a better education, more opportunities to learn outside the classroom and to meet a variety of people. There are even MORE reasons for why we are choosing this path but I am saving that for a separate post.

I know what you are thinking though, "Homeschooled kids are weird". Right? Well, sure. They ARE different. But for the record, I was/am weird so that makes it ok with me. I know what my friends think of me and if that's weird...then cool! I don't mind if James grows up to be "weird". I think people will like his brand of weird. And to kind of solidify the decision for me, I saw a Facebook post the other day with this great article about how homeschooled kids are odd. Of course I had to read it...and I loved it. So I wanted to re-post it here to share with you. Yes, My Grown Homeschooled Children are Odd- And Yours Will be Too!

Here's a little taste of what Diane Flynn Keith had to say:
I'll tell you what I think. The truth is, homeschoolers are not well-socialized.
There. I've said it. Someone had to.
I say this with the greatest respect and affection for the homeschooled or unschooled. Nevertheless, in my experience, homeschoolers deviate from the norm. They are not well-socialized in the traditional school sense. They are odd ducks swimming in a big, standardized social pool. They stand out from the crowd, and a trained eye can spot them a mile away.

OMG! I can't believe she wrote that! LOL And then she says this:
Heck, the very act of homeschooling questions the power and authority of government and societal norms. By choosing to homeschool, you have set an example for your kids to defy conventional wisdom and not to accept the status quo.

Well, right out of the gate, I am teaching James to question everything. And he does! I remember wanting to ask questions and was afraid to raise my hand for fear of looking dumb or getting in trouble. Why in the world did my Geometry teacher sit beside that damn overhead projector day after day after day writing problems when I couldn't figure out WHAT I was supposed to be LEARNING!!!!! I wanted to scream the question at her! But I didn't want to get sent to the Principle's office or in-school suspension so I never asked. I never told anyone that I was at my boiling point with frustration. I wanted to learn geometry. I copied down everything she wrote on the overhead. But I didn't learn. What was I supposed to DO with geometry anyway? All of this to say that the academics are the priority. Even if you have a child in the public schools, you would agree with that. Making friends comes in later down the list. You want your kids to have a good education...first and foremost. James will have a great journey ahead of him and he will have friends that are enough to sustain him and make him happy. He will. So stop worrying about it.

Introducing.....No TV Tuesdays!

We had a great day today! But, first the backstory. I nonchalantly told James yesterday that we should have "No TV Tuesdays". He had been on the computer ALOT over the weekend. I signed him up at the Marvel comics "Super Hero Squad" free online games and he was obsessed with doing his "missions". He is able to use the mouse, tap the 4 arrow keys and hit the spacebar to move his player and make him do stuff. He didn't really eat that much and he got a little cranky. When we did our lessons yesterday he could not/would not draw a straight line on a piece of paper. He said he didn't like to color. And I'm thinking, "This kid can multi-task with this computer game but he can't/won't draw a straight line on a piece of paper?". Not my kid. So. No TV Tuesdays. I like illiteration and since yesterday was Monday....it worked. He asked if that meant no computer too and I told him, "Yep. No screens. No TV screens and no computer screens. It's bad for your eyes and rots your brain a little." I heard not one complaint from him. When Chris got home, the first thing James told him was, "Dad! No screams tomorrow. No TV and no computer". This morning, he didn't turn on the TV. We sat in the living room. I had my coffe and he had his chocolate milk. No TV. He says to me, "That scream just staring at me is really weird". I smiled and told him, "Yeah, it's a little strange"....and then he reached under the coffee table and grabbed one of his "My Big Backyard" magazines and started looking through it. He sat there with his legs crossed. Too adorable. He found another one and brought it to me to read to him. A little later, as I ate my cereal at the kitchen table he pulled up a chair so we could "talk about stuff". It was wonderful! He wanted to know ALL about my childhood: What toys did I have, what games did I play, did my house have stairs, what color was my bed, did I play on the computer, what cartoons did I watch, did I ever get any boo-boos and how did I deal with them, did I have a dog and what did she look like, what kind of snacks did MawMaw give me when I was a kid....and the conversation went like that for a while. It was great. Then we decided we would take Sparky for a walk after a game of Candyland upstairs. He let me hold him in my lap and let me kiss him and squeeze him. I called him my baby and of course he replies that he is NOT a baby. I told him that even when he is bigger than me I will say to Chris, "Look Shug, here comes our baby" and when he is a man with a wife and children of his own I will STILL call him "my baby". Then he wanted to know why I was old (what!?!) and how come I am so skinny. I am not sure how he understands that I am skinny. We've never talked about that before. I told him I was born that way and that I played outside ALOT when I was a kid. I eat well too. I downloaded 3 read-to-me books (2 free, one not) onto my Nook for him so he could read while I showered. He read for a while then I heard him playing outside his room. We had a great time at the park walking Sparky. James held the leash. Sparky stayed with him. I think the most challenging time of No TV Tuesday was lunch time and beyond. He got cranky at lunch time and so to quite time he went. He likes to try out sayings to see what happens like telling me, "You're mean!" and gives me his mean face. Then he says to me, "I just need some peace and quiet from you ok?" What????? Ok, sure. No cookie for you then. I am a mean mommy remember? Oh you want me to respond to your crying about the cookie? Um, I am giving you some of that peace and quiet little dude. Backfired on him just a little. Cranky-pants post-quite time was much better. He brought me a Justice League comic book for me to read to him. And the icing on the cake was that Regan and Hunter were both home and he got to play outside! They were using his Star Wars light sabers when I was pulling out of the driveway to go to work. :) James only "cheated" once today. I grabbed my phone to take to work and the game he plays was running. Busted! But that's ok. He caught me checking email on my phone at the end of quiet time. He said, "Mommy! No screams!". Right, right. Even Chris is participating. Love it! They had a raucous game of Candyland when he came home. I heard James telling Chris, "See ya sucker!" and then Chris was laugh and say, "I'm winning!" and it goes back and forth like that. Ah good times. So now we have something to look forward to tomorrow. Dinosaur Train for sure in the morning and maybe a little computer time for both of us. I think this is the start of something beautiful!

Let's talk Religion

Man. I have been putting this topic for a while. It's such a BIG topic for me. Where to begin. Well, I grew up going to church. I have been baptized TWICE. The preacher who baptized me when I was 12 or so had cheated on his wife so I wanted to do it again. I had to make sure it stuck. I know. That's just weird. It was a big part of my life as a teenager and that was my own choosing. I am STILL grateful for the relationships I had during that time in my life. My church and my friends and teachers there sustained me through that tumultuous time called adolescence. I then promptly stopped going to church once I went to college. I was in a new town and I had new friends and I didn't make room for it. So. Now I am a mother and I have a little one to think about. And in my last blog post, the "25 Rules for Mothers of Sons" says that mothers should give their sons something to believe in so that they are never, never, NEVER alone. I have also recently read "Heaven is for real: A little boy's astounding story of his trip to Heaven and back. I downloaded it to my Nook tablet I got for Christmas and I couldn't put it down. I read it in about 2-3 hours.

I needed LOTS of tissues to wipe my tears away. An amazing story of a child's experience that is believable and, I dare say, true. I believe little Colton went to Heaven. I remembered from my own Sunday school lessons that Jesus told the grown-ups, "And a child shall lead them" (Isaiah 11:6). The whole piece of scripture says that the "wolves will lie with the lamb and the leopard with the goat and the lion with the calf, and a child shall lead them". I am no theologian but on it's face this scripture says to me, there will be peace and it's a child who will be a big part of that. Colton said that "Jesus loves the children"and he said it over and over and over and over. Jesus told the grown-ups to believe as a child would believe. Whoa. That's hard. But, back to my story. Now, I stopped going to church but God never stopped trying to get my attention. There was that time I went to the Easter service that first year after my Grandaddy died. I was in his church. The young preacher held up a small, old hymnal that was practically an antique and told the congregation that Roland Hutchinson gave it to him on one of his last visits with him. That was my Grandaddy. I think God was telling me, "Remember me". I'm crying now just typing it out. And since then, there were some dark days but God has put people in my life along the way. Reminding me to remember. I started helping out at the food pantry at Faith Baptist Church with James. I finally decided to go visit. I had been opposed to going to a baptist church because I grew up in one but I needed to go...and I needed to take James. I was nervous. Chris stayed at home. I quickly downloaded the Bible onto my Nook (there are so many FREE Bible apps) on my way out the door. I hoped to see the ONE person I knew there from the food pantry. And guess what? She was the first face I saw. She found me. God put her there? She's a homeschooler too. She helped me get James settled in his class and then helped me find my way to "big church". It's a BIG church. I sat alone. Learned alot. Felt the tears well up inside me. Tears of remembrance. We ate the Lord's Supper. I forgot to wait to pray before eating my bit of cracker. So embarrassing. So now I just gotta keep going. I knew that choosing to homeschool James would lead me back. After all, many of the pioneers of homeschooling choose this path when prayer gotten taken out of school. When religion was no longer ok. When children couldn't draw pictures of themselves praying at bedtime or Jesus on the cross. So, maybe I am choosing God again. It's definitely been on mind and heart lately. Lots of interesting videos going around on Facebook about religion and what did Jesus really mean or say about religion.

And interesting article in response to the video: Does Jesus hate religion? kinda, sorta, not really. But maybe I like little Colton's teachings the best. I can trust that he had no ulterior motives. He's was only 3 years old after all. He told of things he couldn't possibly have known. Most everything he shared with his parents can be substantiated with scripture in the Bible. Yes, I think a child shall lead them (us). And the most amazing part of his story is the search for a true likeness of Jesus. His parents had given up on ever finding a picture of Jesus that little Colton would say looked like Jesus...until he saw this picture:

When little Colton saw this picture, he couldn't believe it. He was stunned. You know who drew this picture? (SPOILER ALERT!!!!!) There was a little girl, a prodigy, who was also very young. She too had been to Heaven...many times though she never "died" like Colton. She grew up in a home where her mother/parents were atheists. Yes, Jesus loves the children. He loves me too even though I haven't been the best I can be. But one thing is for sure, He meant for me to write this today. James is taking a nap. Going on 2 hours now. THAT is a miracle.

Mothering our sons

25 Rules of Mothers of Sons

My mother-in-law shared this with me via Facebook and I just loved it. I decided to share it here on my own blog because it's worthy of posting any and everywhere. And it's a good reminder about how ever vigilant I have to be as a mother, as a woman as I raise James. He will take with him the lessons I have taught him to ALL his relationships with other women in his life. And by "lessons" I mean any and everything that I do and say...whether intentional or not; whether loving...or not. I lost my cool this morning and I am now carrying around anger and guilt at myself at the moment. We had done our "taste testing" lesson last week and today I planned for us to do the "smell testing". I was in the kitchen finding fun things to smell like coffee, vinegar, cinnamon, toothpaste, mint  hot chocolate, maple syrup, bleach, and a fir tree candle. I went upstairs and found a "blindfold" from one of James' pirate costumes. I called him to come with me and he was very excited to do the smelling test. But, as soon as we got to the kitchen and I had the blindfold on him, he started to get upset and wanted to see all the things he was supposed to smell. I wouldn't let him take a peek and when he refused to even trust me and try, I got angry. I sent him to his room and started to put everything away and then I changed my mind. I told him he was being a baby. Name-calling. Great. So nurturing and patient of me (read that with dripping sarcasm) No, I thought. He is going to try this. I pulled all the stuff back out, marched upstairs, told him to come down to the kitchen because he was going to try it. I let him take a 5 second peek at the items on the stove and put the blindfold back on him. He whined and screamed, I held his hands together so he couldn't pull the blindfold off and grabbed the coffee and stuck it under his nose. Silence. Then he said, "coffee". Yes. Then I grabbed the cinnamon. "Sugar?", he asked? No. "Salt?" No, Cinnamon. Then he cheated. He could see under the blindfold and told me what he "smelled". I told him I knew he could see and that he didn't play the game. It could have been a lot more fun had he done what he was supposed to do. He said, "That was fun Mommy! Are you proud of me?" And despite the anger still welling inside me for the lack of trust of the game (and me perhaps), I said, "Yes James, I am proud of you". He wanted to hug me tight and tell me that he loved me. He needed to know I still loved him. And that made me even MORE angry at myself. I scared him so bad or he saw how angry I was and needed reassurance that I still loved him? That feels like total crap. I have told him before that I love him so much even when I am angry. "I still love you. Always. No matter what." That's what I tell him. I find that I get frustrated the most because he won't take a risk. Does that sound crazy? Most moms are THRILLED that their kids won't "fly" down the stairs or eat anything they see like the yucky whatever they found on the ground. But James is so cautious. Always has been. It drives me nuts. "Scared" of food and swimming but he needs to eat and he loves playing in the water. And then I remembered the other day. I wasn't ever a thrill-seeker. I rode my dang big wheel long after everyone else was riding their 2-wheel bikes. I liked my big wheel. Period. So what to do? Well, I will pray. I will pray for my own patience and wisdom. I will pray for James to find the thrill in trying the unknown. I will pray for forgiveness. I will make today better than that last moment in the kitchen.

Update: Finding children's book of the Nativity

With all festivities and the fullness of the days leading up to the Christmas and New Year holidays behind us,life is getting back to normal. So I wanted to write an update about the Nativity book that James now has in his possession. My blog entry entitled Passion for Christmas listed some of the books I was considering to buy and they all came from great mommies too. I kept putting it off for one reason or another and a wonderful thing happened. Right before Christmas, James and I had gone shopping with my Mom and we stopped by the Hallmark store. I LOVE the Hallmark store. She had been looking for something special to give her two grandsons on Christmas Eve and there sitting in the front of the store was a recordable story book called the "The Very First Christmas". I encouraged her to get it. I told her that James doesn't have that book and I had been looking all over for one and I thought it would be great for her to tell him the story. It is so sweet! My mom was able to record a message to James before she began recording herself reading the story. It plays "Silent Night" between the pages and the best part was that Chris and I laid down with James at bedtime on Christmas Eve and listened to my Mom read the story to James. He was quite enthralled with it and it was a wonderful way to end a day full of anticipation of what Christmas morning would bring.