Child's Garden

It's only a few days after Christmas and I am able to sit down and think about education. I surprise myself. I did get two books I had been wanting to read though and that may have put my butt in gear. I got The Early Years: A Charlotte Mason Preschool Handbook and Better Late than Early by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. Both books speak to the idea of waiting to start a formal education for children. We're talking as late as 8 to 10 years old. That is just unheard of! The BLTE (Better Late than Early) book is a book of technical information and research about how a child's brain develops and through that research put forth the evidence that waiting to start a formal education is actually better for the child. Now, they are NOT saying to just sit around and do nothing with a child for their first 8 to 10 years of life. Heck no! They are saying that waiting to start the academics is better conducted when the child is more mature, etc. They have other arguments but I just started reading it. I can see that this one is going to be tough to finish. It is VERY technical. The CM (Charlotte Mason) book is quite different. She also says that waiting to start formal academics is best but she suggests starting at age 6 or 7. I love her theories and how she wrote. I could devour that one. The reason I wanted these two books has to do with a sort of knowing I have about how to best teach James. I have a strong conviction that slowing down the busy, activity-driven life that James COULD have is the right path. Society says that our kids should be playing soccer or t-ball and taking gymnastics or karate, music lessons and art class. No. I think waiting is the key and I need respected sources to keep myself sane. Well, easier said than done. It goes completely against the grain of what is the norm today. CM (Charlotte Mason) says that the early years of a child's life should be a "quite growing time". I love that. It makes me breath a sigh of relief really. Truly, in the early years, a child's education is self-guided. They are learning and observing EVERYTHING around them. It's a parent's job to guide the child to "right habits of thinking and behaving and nourishing their mind with loving, right and noble ideas". That's what Charlotte Mason said. Isn't that what we ALL want for our children? Did you know that the word "kindergarten" means "child's garden"? I am 40 years old and I never knew that. Is kindergarten these days like a child's garden where they can explore and play and grow? Kindergarten as we now know it was started in Germany by Friedrich Froebel. The main activities of his Play and Activity Institute was singing, dancing, gardening and self-directed play with basic toys or "gifts" as he called them. That ain't the kindergarten of today. But I want James' "kindergarten" to be a garden. It means Chris and I chose the influences around him right now. I know all the people in his life and the activities that he does. If he were in kindergarten at the public school I would have to accept that all the kids and the teacher in his classroom would possibly have a greater influence over him than me and that I would not know everything he does for those 6 hours he is away from me. THAT is unacceptable. I am pretty sure that his "garden" is here at home in our fun yellow room...and beyond.

My Top 10 list for December

I write now out of guilt. It's been over 2 weeks since my last post and I am so tired. James and Chris are both gone right now. Chris got a chance to play golf today and since I am working he took James to my mom's house for the day. So I will do a top 10 list of memorable events for the month of December.

10. James got a video message from Santa yesterday! THE most adorable thing ever. You don't even need to be a parent to enjoy this, it can be sent to adults too. The best part? You get to choose if they have been naughty or nice! Portable North Pole

9. James believes in JoeJohn the Elf's magic. It was questionable when he arrived the day after Thanksgiving.

8. Most. adorable. picture. with Santa. EVER. (I am totally biased on this one)

7. When I asked James what he wanted to get Daddy for Christmas, without hesitation, he responded, "A fart machine!". This is doubly hilarious because he tells EVERYONE that Daddy farts. It's goes like this, "Hi. I'm James. I am 4. My Daddy farts in the house."

6. I finished getting my Christmas cards out in the mail. I think. I am pretty sure. Yeah. I did.

5.  I found out that James likes a certain kind of craft- pipe cleaners! I took him to the Lighthouse Christmas Craft Fair and he liked making the candy canes out of pipe cleaners and beads. Cool! I love that do so I think he may get that from me. I used to make beaded jewelry (yes, used to. sigh) and I started by stringing beads in college. It was therapeutic. Of course, his 7-year-old cousin write books as an afternoon craft....with illustrations and everything!

4. Chris has some time off right now and it's nice to see him more.

3. I am looking forward to Christmas Eve (I realize this hasn't actually happened yet.). We will get to spend time with my sister and her family, my parents and our neighbors and the family they have with them this year.

2. I celebrated my sister's, mom's and father-in-law's birthdays in a week's time. They did this on purpose. Never mind. No they didn't.

1. And, lastly, I am happy. With all the craziness of the holidays and our regular daily schedules that we juggle, I don't think I could be much happier. I feel lucky every day to have the life I have.

Day of Discipline

We had a full DAY of discipline on Wednesday which left me feeling completely icky and drained by the time I had to leave the house for work after dinner. A friend actually asked me that night, "Um, you didn't think you'd have days like that?" Well, yes, I know children test their parents but I am still exasperated at the sheer relentless of their goal! Does James go to naptime prepared to make tons of noise?!?!?! I really don't think so but he knows the choices and he is choosing option 3...there is no option 3! James has been having a real hard time being quite during naptime since we changed the rules about it. I recognized that he may not need a nap everyday so I reduced naptime to an hour and told him he could rest or play QUIETLY in his room. After a week or so of not-so-quite nap hours, I told James that I had made a mistake, "Playing during naptime is not such a good idea. It's so hard to be quite. So you can read your books or rest.". Wednesday I walked down the hall 3 times and was just at my wits end. I need that quite time and I want him to have some time during the day to just stop and be still. He played with his joke machine...it tells knock-knock jokes and the like. As I tore down the hall, I got the idea to leave the door open. Apparently he thinks I can't hear anything if his door is closed. Silence. For 15 whole minutes. When he came into my room to tell me his clock was yellow, I had a thought. He needs to understand what it feels like to stay up until midnight like Mommy does. We couldn't do it on Thursday night so it was a delayed consequence. I told him the plan and he was excited! He even thanked me for letting him stay up all night long yesterday afternoon. By 6pm last night, he asked me when was midnight. I responded, "Oh. You have 6 more hours before bedtime James.". Silence. By 8:30 he was jumping and dancing around the living room. This is a tell-tell sign of a young child getting tired. They won't be still. They're afraid they might fall asleep if they stop and that is unacceptable. By 9:15, the mood was quite different.
"Mommy, is it bedtime yet?", he asks with a little concern in his voice. I check the clock. "Oh no sweetheart. You have about 2 and a half hours left to go before midnight.".
"But I am tired Mommy.", he groans.
"I know Sweetheart. It's so hard to stay up late when you don't have a nap."

Then came the waterworks and the one-liners that made me laugh outloud! It's now about 9:45pm and he is really REALLY tired. He is laying on the landing upstairs watching TV with me and begging me to "change my rule" so he can go to bed. He tells me, "My whole darn body is so tired! I need rest Mommy!" and I died laughing! He was really pitiful and every time he told me he was tired, I would say something to show empathy. It wouldn't have worked to tell him, "See! Now do you understand about Mommy being tired! Naptime is quiet time!" At 11pm I put him to bed. He was so glad. We are going to do naptime today to reinforce the lesson. I will gently remind him, "We can stay up all night again...if you want to. I will know you want to if you are making noise during naptime. See you in an hour.". Interestingly, he never tried to put HIMSELF to bed. I was waiting for that. I guess it's just not the same if Mommy or Daddy aren't turning on the music and his stars. And the kisses. Can't forget the kisses.

Tot Clock. Love me a Tot Clock!

Passion for Christmas

Well, my "rant" about Christmas yesterday evoked a few responses whether here (1 comment), private emails or face-to-face exchanges. One of those comments came from my husband and I didn't even think he READ my blog! LOL Well, he still may not have read yesterday's post, he could have talked to his mother last night. She shares our love of the Berenstain Bears books. And that's what my husband Chris emailed me about last night. It was about the son (Mike) of Jan and Stan Berenstain who, later in life, joined in the family business and they began writing a series of their beloved books called Living Lights "books of faith". So some of them ARE labeled "christian"...but not all of them. And part of my ire at Barnes and Noble was that the policy of labeling ALL of them "christian" does not seem to be the policy in all the stores. The B&N at Triangle Towne Center has the books displayed with the "twaddle" and I don't even know if that particular store HAS a children's religious section of books. Luckily, I now have a better understanding of where to find the various books that we love so much. As for books about the Nativity, I was so frustrated by my experience in a mainstream bookstore that I went to Facebook for help. I knew if I posted the question about needing suggestions for a great children's book I would get a response. And, within minutes, I did! Here are a few of the great recommendations:
Song of the Stars: A Christmas Story by Sally Lloyd-Jones
The Cobweb Curtain: A Christmas Story by Barclay and Baynes
The Very First Christmas by Paul Maier
Child of the Promise by Stormie Omartian

Now I just have to decide which one to get! All of them look so beautiful and just what I am looking for in a way to teach this and enjoy this with James.

Now the last of the comments I received about my blog post from yesterday comes from an anonymous source (as far as you all will be concerned). As I read my friend's comments that were privately sent, I realize how BLESSED I am to know such interesting people. I work in a field that is made up largely of the liberal-leaning political kind...and I stand with a few conservatives. And we all get along. My work has also allowed me to meet other Christians (some WAY more devout than I), Muslims, Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses and Jews. We have varying life experiences and educational backgrounds and we all have a unique story in how we came to be sign language interpreters. So, in reading my friend's words, I was thinking how amazing it is that I know someone who has has all this information and is willing to share it. My friend spoke of the pagan beginnings of WHY Christmas is celebrated in Winter when, mostly likely, Jesus was actually born in Summer or Fall. The Winter Solstice was celebrated as a new beginning as the days slowly began to get longer and so with this rebirth of nature, so came the celebration of the birth of Jesus. And my friend wrote:

Christmas and Easter were both pagan holidays adopted by Christianity to assimilate native populations so that they may keep their own traditions and celebrations and be more willing to "convert."

Christmas: Dec 25th originates from the celebration of "Saturnalia" when groups worshiped the Sun god. The shortest, coldest, darkest day of the year was chosen -- along with EVERGREEN trees, lights (candles then), and gifts - these were placed to 'beckon' the Sun god to return during a great festival. This was believed to bring back their source of heat, light, and deity from a great slumber.
The bible doesn't quote a specific date that Jesus was born on - but it is estimated to be around early October - he COULDN'T have been born Dec 25th, outside in a stable, as Bethlehem's regional Dec climate is in the 20s to 30s. Plus, the shepherds cannot keep their flocks out at night in that temperature as mentioned being the case when he was born.
(side note: the three wise men didn't find and meet Jesus until he was 2/3 years old - not as a baby)


As a reminder to myself that this is a blog about homeschooling, all of this is absolutely relevant! I am flushing out WHAT I will teach James about my (actually mine and my husband's) World View. Again, in my humble opinion, it is better to have a deep understanding of the WHY's of things and also to understand other world views. Often knowing what else is out there in the world STRENGTHENS one's own beliefs. Besides, how else can one defend their own truths. But then again, it's all just a leap of faith.

A Bone to pick with Barnes & Noble

James and I were at Barnes & Noble booksellers at Crabltree Valley Mall last Friday. I needed to get the next book in the series I am reading and I wanted to get a children's book of the Nativity story for James. I encountered two issues in doing this. One, the selection of books in large display area in the children's section has all sorts of books about Santa Claus. Some are traditional stories like "The Nutcracker" and "Twas the Night Before Christmas". But then there is "Disney Christmas Storybook Collection" and "Fancy Nancy", "Charlie Brown" and "SpongeBob". And over on the far right are small board books of the Nativity story. I counted 4: 2 board books and 2 storybooks. One of the storybooks was nice...until you read it to the end. THAT book paralleled the birth of Jesus to new parents today experiencing the birth of their child. Um, excuse me, but Jesus wasn't just ANY baby. While I marveled at the birth of my own son...he is NOT the son of God and the two stories don't mesh when thinking about WHY Christians celebrate Christmas. It might be appropriate in some other context, in my humble opinion. The second problem I encountered was when I asked for help from customer service to locate other Nativity story books. I thought maybe I had missed them or something. Maybe they had a special display table elsewhere in the store. No, they didn't. The man directed me to the "religion section" in the children's area. I use the term loosely because there was a bunch of children's bibles (which were quite lovely) but no Nativity storybooks. But, to my horror, I found ALL the Berenstain Bear books! They were hidden away in the CHRISTIAN religious section (i.e., 1 small bookcase). I was so confused. The Berenstain Bears books are NOT religious. Not all of them anyway. There is one about "sunday school" and one about "God loving you" and "saying prayers"...but "treat or treat" and "the sitter" and "a visit to the dentist" hardly count as religious! And when exactly did teaching MORALS (or learning about the dentist) become synonymous with RELIGION? Can't one teach morals without the religious context? SURE you can! I was angry because the books with something to teach (that Charlotte Mason may not necessarily lable "twaddle") are kept separate from the other paperback books for kids that WOULD be "twaddle" like SpongeBob, Dora the Explorer, Superhero books, and Biscuit books. If I hadn't been looking for a book about the Nativity, I would have assumed that the bookstore just didn't have any Berenstain Bear books. James needs to know exactly WHY we celebrate Christmas. He needs to know that it's not just about Santa Claus and toys and Christmas decorations. Besides, in this day and age, Santa Claus is so far removed from the "Reason for the Season" that anyone of any religion could join in the fun. I wonder why it hasn't happened yet really. Some sweet grandfatherly old man gives out toys to GOOD boys and girls. Can't one work on character development here and completely edit out the religious beginnings of it all? Sure! History of Santa Claus In fact, the only Christian aspect of Santa Claus is that Saint Nicholas of 4th Century Greece was the giver of gifts. Now, I am thinking about the REAL reason Christians celebrate Easter. What does Easter eggs  and jellybeans have to do with it? Oh, my head hurts! But just one more thing, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Change of Plans

Its been about 15 days since my last post and I honestly can't tell you WHAT I have been doing but I can tell you that I have been busy. It's not a big secret or anything like that. I have been working and I was preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday. I put up our Christmas tree. But other than those measurable things, I have no clue. I think that's the life of a Mom. You are so busy with the raising of children...but most days there are no measurable outcomes. I can't point to a specific thing that James can now miraculously do that he couldn't do yesterday. BUT, I can tell you, for example, that I have been focusing on teaching him the act of asking for something he wants rather than demanding it. It takes diligence which can be exhausting! Add to that the needs of a family like someone to do the laundry, cooking, cleaning and paying bills and I am spent. I have even let our daily lessons go to the wayside. And I had a realization today: When we do school in the mornings, it is the only time of the day when James has my undivided attention. I don't know whether to laugh or cry about that. I am now wondering if that is why he has been so, hmm, spirited lately. I must get us on track again and to do that I must set limits for myself. My biggest distraction is the cleaning that needs to be done at home. I get to straightening the living room and the next thing you know I have started more laundry, folded a load out of the dryer, emptied the dishwasher, threw something in the crockpot, rearranged some knick knacks and messed around on Facebook...while James is watching yet another episode of Dinosaur Train. Yep, I gotta set limits for myself so that I giving some of that energy to James each day.


We had a very nice Thanksgiving and one of the things I am most grateful for is the visit we had from Lisa DeMarco and her son Jonah the day before Thanksgiving. She is a homeschool Mom and a physical therapist who works part time. She had emailed me that she wanted to meet James and I was happy to have her come over. She was wonderful and gave me her opinions about the toe walking. She thought it seemed like a rather unusual case of toe walking because most kids have some other issue that causes it like sensory issues or muscle tone issues. But not James. Prior to her visit, I had cancelled our appointment with James' occupational therapist. I just couldn't justify going when all they would do was an evaluation. Well, I know the outcome of that- he still walks on his toes! Lisa thought that daily stretches and possibly braces would help. The braces would be worn at night to encourage muscle stretching. We agreed that some yoga would be a great thing to add to our weekly activities. She was going to do some checking around and get back to me. James liked Jonah and they ended up outside playing baseball for a while. I love me some homeschooled kids!