Things a 4-year-old says

1. 100-year-old man completes the marathon. After seeing this photo of the centenarian who completed a marathon, James asked, "Mom! Is that God?"
2. Does everyone live in the United States? What's the United States?
3. I fink I will try new foods when I am 100.
4. I fink when I was a baby, I didn't fink about much.
5. Are we going to Harris the Teeter?
6. Do you like my voice Mommy? I like yours. It sounds great to me.
7. Do you like Daddy's voice Mommy?
8. James: I love you. Me: I love you too sweet baby. James: Fanks Mommy.
9. Do I look fabulous?
10. Mom! Don't comb my handsome hair!
11. Are you proud of me? What's "proud of me" mean?
12. Is steak an animal? What kind? What about hamburger? Is that steak?
13. I need to floss after I swish and spit.
14. After anything fun, James always asks, "What was your favorite park?"
15. Sparky is my brover (brother). (Sparky is the dog)
    

Something's going on...

Something is amiss around here with James. He hit Brandi with his Croc snowboot out of the blue the other night while she was over at our house craving our pumpkin. I sent him to timeout. He didn't argue or cry. Later that same night, he wanted an apple and I told him there was one in the refrigerator with a bite taken out of it. The teethmarks are his. He took a bite out of one from the bowl anyway. I sent him to timeout. There was no arguing and no crying. This morning, he asked for my very last piece of mint gum and I told him no. While I was out this morning, he got his stool from his bathroom, took it to my room and got it anyway. I know this because he told me when I saw him chewing gum after I returned home. I took the gum that we save for him and I made him spit out the mint gum he took. He didn't even seem to mind. No tantrum. No crying. Did he know it was wrong? I don't know what is going on. As I am writing this, I am thinking, "Am I saying "no" too much?". Do I need to rephrase my words so it always sounds like I am saying yes? For example, "Yes, James you can have some gum, strawberry or orange? The mint piece is mine.". It doesn't explain why he hit Brandi with his boot. Did he just want to play? Was he frustrated for some reason? He wanted to use the pumpkin carving tools so bad but didn't want to be taught how to use them. He just wanted to stab the little pumpkin I had for him. So, I let him. He was happy doing that. I carved a face on "Little Jack" for him and he liked the candle-lighting ceremony outside. With all this unruly behavior going on lately, I have picked up my Love and Logic book in the hopes I will find some answers in it. The 2 things that have recently stuck with me is that, #1 the more control we try to exert on our kids, the more they push back...at any age. And, #2, we can't control what they eat OR what they think. It's a little terrifying and a little freeing to know that. The book's premise is that parents need to raise children that will become moral, responsible adults who can make sound decisions. And, even an infant can make decisions (with boundaries) and should be allowed to do so. I am telling myself this is a phase. For now. I am also reminding myself that my child is not perfect (can you even believe it?!? ;)) and he shouldn't be expected to be such. And, lastly, I am not perfect. Oh the horror! Ha! No need to comment if you agree. Hmmmm. Maybe he needs MORE activity. His curiosity is insatiable here lately. Well, we do have 2 field trips this week. We are going to the farm tomorrow to learn how butter is made and to play, play, play. He will have a sleep over with MawMaw also. And on Friday, we are going to Daylight Donuts to see how donuts are made. That should keep his busy little mind and his busy little body occupied.

The Food Pantry

James and I went to help out at Faith Baptist Church Food Pantry yesterday. We had a great time! The church takes in donated food for their food pantry but they also buy food from the NC Food Bank for 18 cents a pound. Folks from the church and from Lighthouse homeschool association help out once a month to bag all the groceries and get them ready for pick up by people in the late afternoon. The church actually supports many people who depend on them every month for food. More than half of them are elderly folks in the community. The remaining are families with children. We prepared about 384 bags of groceries! James was excited to "work". My favorite part of the whole experience was watching James meet new friends while we were there. He was eager to help out but a little small and this one young boy (age 8) took James under his wing. He said, "Hey James! Come with me! We need to put some cereal in the bags." James ran over and they started putting boxes of cereal in the bags. What's also exciting (for me) is that this little boy is also homeschooled and is a member of Lighthouse. That means we will see him again. :) His mom and I got along well too. It was just a great experience with a bunch of nice, caring people doing something good for the community. We are going to the grocery store today and we will be picking up some additional items to donate to the food pantry. The church always keeps additional bags of groceries for emergency needs and this month that has been depleted. The NC Food Bank didn't bring their regular truck because they have been busy with the NC State Fair. One day during the fair, people can bring canned goods and get in for free. I think the NC Food Bank was busy this week collecting all the canned goods from the fair. Nevertheless, I have already marked our calendar for November. I can't wait!

James is working so hard!

Finding a Balance & Plan B

With these tough economic times, my paycheck just doesn't seem to go as far as it used to. I am grateful to have a job and that I can work at night. But here lately, I have been working more hours than ususal (29 hours/week) and then doing some additional work out in the community. Here's an explanation of what I normally do. The video is tough to understand if you don't use sign language but I basically interpret phone calls and the service is a 24/7 service. Anyway, yesterday we were supposed to go on a field trip to a local farm but it was rescheduled due to the nasty, rainy weather we had. I was relieved. I was tired from working the night before. James didn't want to go either. He said he didn't want to get  his shoes muddy. Hmmm. So, we had already decided to skip the trip before we found out it had been cancelled for the day. After that, we moved into Plan B for the day. In our pajamas until the afternoon. For me, that was hard. That little voice inside tells me that I am a lazy bum when I am in my pj's too long. But we did stuff! We made pancakes for breakfast. I did some laundry. I did take a shower. On the fly, our big project ended up being going through all of James' toys. That was pretty interesting. He had no problem separating his toys into a "play with" pile and a "don't play with" pile. He is eager to "donate the toys to someone's house".  I was happy to see that he didn't cherish things so much that he couldn't part with anything. And he was happy to discover toys that had fallen to the bottom of the toy basket. He hadn't seen them in a while. We were productive even though we were in our pj's! And James' favorite way of being is in his underwear and pajama shirt. It suits him just fine! He sees no point in getting dressed if he isn't going anywhere. Okie Dokie. I am always paranoid that the ONE day I am in my pj's all day, I will have a visitor pop-in. It never happens. But I like being prepared! Today, we ARE getting dressed and going to help out at the Food Pantry at a local church. James is excited about "working". I'll take my camera.

Following my Gut

I have two admissions here...

1. My gut instincts have always whispered, yelled at or compelled me to take this path, do that thing or walk  away. 
2. And I have not always been a great listener. Those times when I didn't listen to that voice, that nudge, I wished I had.

It's part of growing up and growing old(er), I guess, learning to listen to that voice, that feeling. I don't always hear a message. Sometimes it's a feeling of alarm or some other physical reaction, and I have to just go with it; trusting myself. Now, as we have started this homeschool adventure and actually doing it each day in some form or fashion, that feeling is trying to tell me something. See, I bought our PreK curriculum from Calvert School back in February of this year. I had been looking around for something, I didn't know any homeschoolers yet and I was feeling kind of alone, on my own, so I found a curriculum that had a built-in support for parents. I ordered it and I was very happy with my decision. It provides a traditional curriculum (i.e.what we would find in the public schools) and I am....bored with it. That may be the reason we didn't do any lessons last week. We were busy too but I wasn't motivated. I also must admit (this is #3!) that I am beginning to skip around in the lessons. I teach what I think is important or if I think it will capture James' attention or if I think he needs it. I am already rebelling and finding my own way. While Calvert and I are together now, we will be breaking up in the near future. Oh we are having a good time but it can't last forever. So, today I started to organize my favorite resources and creating notebooks for my Charlotte Mason material, general homeschool information and "stuff" I want to use with James. I have found a mentor and teacher for myself in a woman who lived 100 years ago in England. Go figure.

Lessons from the Animals

James loves animals. He likes to see them on TV, at the movies and the museum, in the backyard and in books.

One of our favorites is the Berenstain Bears. James LOVES them! And so do I! We have a growing collection of the books that started when he was a baby. We most recently ordered 3: Count Their Blessings, Strangers and A Case of the Gimmies. James loves the books so much that when we have read the acutal story, he wants me to read the inside of the back page which lists all the titles...there are 54! THEN, I have to read the titles on the back page that have pictures of the books that are featured. He can almost list them all by himself because he has memorized them. Our most treasured book is a hard-back book that used to belong to his Daddy.

In addition to the Berenstain Bears and since we haven't found a church to call home yet, I bought a kid's devotional book over the weekend. The Big Book of Animal Devotions is one I found in the bookstore. I like it. I read one story each day usually at nap time or bedtime. Each devotion includes a featured animal, a short Bible verse and a moral of the story. One is already sticking with James. The first devotion was about "thinking before speaking" and the moral of the story was "guard your tongue". The devotion taught that our words should be like medicine to people....helpful rather than hurtful. So, ever since, James has been asking if his words are like medicine. I like that. Another one that was recommended to me that I didn't find in the bookstore is Listen to the Animals. We may end up with 2 books of devotion. I will post about church another day. Lots to write about there. But for now, James is getting some education about God and what is expected of him. This is character building. This is habits as talked about by Charlotte Mason.

I have a curly kid, do you?

Aside from the field trips and informal lessons we are doing now, some of the most important learning for James at this age is character development and responsibility (habits). Actually, I will continue to teach these things along with the formal education. Charlotte Mason calls it laying down the rails and stressed the importance of teaching habits to children. She said that "laying down the rails" at an early age would lead to smototh and easy days down the road. One lesson that I will work on with James is grooming. He has a beautiful head of curly hair and I am teaching him to LOVE his curls. He KNOWS I think he is super handsome when he has "crazy hair". I am teaching him to spray his hair in the morning with the lavender water I made and comb it with a wide-toothed comb. Spraying hair is super fun! It makes him laugh. Curly hair requires special attention. For him, I am using Devacurl products and methods for caring for curly hair. If you have a curly kid, I highly recommend their products. They make a great handbook too. :)

My curly kid

Time Management

It has been a busy week. The analogy of managing our lives is like juggling seems to be fairly accurate. I had lots of balls in the air this week. We went to see a free concert at the North Carolina Museum of History on Sunday, had the HVAC guy come out for a "tune-up" on our systems on Monday, we went on a field trip on Tuesday and I took some extra work yesterday in addition to my regular work schedule. Today is Smoothie & Movie day. It's rainy outside, we don't have to be anywhere and pj's are good. :) As I write this post, James is looking at his "homework". He found a dinosaur sticker book and he's looking at that. He has learned about homework from our neighbors. His favorite playmate can't always run outside to play when she gets home from school because SHE has homework. I'm sure it sounds awfully important to him. We haven't done any "formal" lessons this week but there sure has been a lot of learning taking place. We will get to it today for a short time this morning. I have to constantly remind myself that we should have fun and do lessons when we can. He won't be a preschooler forever and this is a GREAT time to go out and have adventures. And we are having a great time.

Blind Boy Chocolate and the Milk Sheiks

Colonial Living Week at Alamance Battleground

Putting a Flourishing Imagination to good use

I love being the mother of a 4-year-old! I must admit that being a mother of a 3-year-old was a bit of challenge...even tougher than being the mother of a 2-year-old. I tell my mommy friends that the 3's are harder than the 2's because the child is testing their intellectual muscles rather than their physical muscles but they are harder to reason with. Once they become four, the conversations get a bit more interesting. Right now, James' imagination is going wild! It's great. Yesterday he was "mailbot". He found a box and put toys in it and then he would bring it to me where ever I was in the house and say, "I have a package for you." And I would have to open it. In it, there was always toys for James. Nothing for me! But, art imitates life and James is the one who gets all the packages around here. The day before that, I dubbed him "Rainman". It had nothing to do with the movie. He was playing with an umbrella and he came up to me and asked me if I knew his name. I took one look at him with the umbrella on his shoulder and I said, "You're Rainman." Well, it stuck. It turned out to be an interesting day. "Rainman" stuck around while James was at work (he works at the mall apparently) and he called me "Connie" or "James' Mom". The most wonderful part of the day was when Chris came home and we sat down to eat dinner. Rainman joined us. I introduced him to Chris and he shook his hand and said, "Hello Chris". He ate cereal instead of trying the vegetable soup I had made but he wanted to know if James tried new foods. We told him that James is a little scared to try new foods and maybe he could help by talking to James. He pretended to talk to his invisible friend James who was sitting at the table with us. Rainman reported that James said he would try it. Then, we convinced him to SHOW James how to try new food. It worked! "Rainman" showed James how to eat a couple of carrot pieces from the soup. It was wonderful to see him try something that he was really reluctant to do. We praised him and he was really proud of himself. I think I like Rainman. He can stay as long as he likes!

The Food Connection

James knows about food. His Daddy is the co-founder of Carolina Grown here in North Carolina and he knows where most of his food comes from. He has been to the farm where his beloved chocolate milk is made, the apple orchard in the mountains where we get our beautiful apples this time of year and he has picked strawberries to bring home. This sort of learning isn't found in the curriculum but it's important for kids (and adults) to have an understanding of where their food comes from. Currently, James is a self-imposed vegetarian and if the food comes from the farmer he will eat it. He is a picky eater; not to be confused with a problem eater. Again, not in the curriculum but we need to talk about food daily. I cook most nights and he likes to help me out in the kitchen. We also make sure that James sees us enjoying all sorts of healthy foods. I am trying to get a little creative and incorporate discussions about food into our daily lessons. That part of the lessons will mostly move to the kitchen where we will do taste testing with some of his favorite foods to talk about taste, texture, temperature and the flavor strength. He's an auditory learner and, hopefully, talking about food in this way will help him to be just a tad more adventurous in trying new foods. Maybe he'll even eat TWO chicken nuggets next time!

Finding My Groove

Last year, life was pretty easy. I had signed up James for the YMCA preschool program 2 times a week for their morning program. He loved it and I loved having some time to do extra work, go shopping or just be at home. He was 3 years old and I thought the 3's were much more challenging that the 2's. He started to learn his ABC's, count and write his name. As the summer was coming to an end and the time drew nearer for us to start doing something "formal" with the Calvert School PreK curriculum I bought last February on sale, I started to panic. How was I going to do this when I am working a part-time job 4 nights a week until  midnight? I need to plan and I need to sleep. I really need sleep. I shouldn't have worried so much because a comfortable pattern started to emerge once we started doing lessons in the morning. James and I enjoy our chocolate milk and coffee respectively. And while James is watching yet another episode of PBS' Dinosaur Train (he says he is going to be a dinosaur doctor. That's 4-year-old speak for paleontologist), I go into our fun yellow room and look at the day's lesson. Since he is a preschooler, it doesn't take too long and we always add our own parts to the lessons. My goal this year is to continue to encourage his curiosity and eagerness to do lessons. On some of our usually busy days, Dad (Chris) has stepped in to do lessons in the evening with James. That was a nice surprise that I hadn't anticipated when I was worried about being over-tired and when/how to plan. I have also created some specific goals for James that have developed during the past couple of months. I want him to enjoy writing so we still do handwriting practice on a small scale. When he gets tired of it, we stop. Chris and I are also teaching him to memorize his address and phone number. And we have lots of field trips planned. Right now is a great time to explore. So this month we are going to a battlefield (They have a cannon! And they are going to shoot it!), another free concert, a farm, a doughnut shop, and helping out at the Food Pantry by bagging groceries for folks who are in need. Oh! And participating in the Family Softball Game day. Learning IS fun! And I can do this!

Learning Styles

If 90% of teaching is knowing the child, that has to include knowing their learning style. This part may not be necessarily intuitive like sensing when your child is tired or hungry or when he's had enough or when he is content or when he is ready for a new challenge. But it isn't hard to figure out. Google would be an excellent place to start. Just type "learning styles" and see what you get. What's your style? is a quick quiz you can take to help determine your learning style. Be sure to also answer it with your child/children in mind. James is, without a doubt, a auditory learner! He can "talk your ear off", can remember jingles and TV commercials effortlessly, he can express himself verbally and he LOVES verbal praise. There is more to being an auditory learner but these are some of the highlights that jumped out at me that James absolutely exhibits. He also loves music and can hear the beginning of a song or piece of music and tell me the name of it. Right now his favorite music is "Peter and the Wolf" narrated by Sir Alec Guinness (you know, Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars) and a CD our cousin Bev sent him of the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra playing all of composer, John Williams' best and most famous works- Star Wars, Raider of the Lost Ark, Superman, E.T. and so on. He also like the "Red Hot Peppers (Red Hot Chili Peppers) and plays a mean air drum to "Higher Ground". So, what's your learning style?

90% of teaching is knowing the child

The most surprising encounters I have had as I start this journey is meeting other moms...that used to be public school teachers or preschool teachers. The two moms I am thinking of had a child that the public schools labeled as "special needs" and so they were given an IEP (Individual Education Plan). A whole slew of people from the school get together to decide HOW they will teach this child. After that big ol' meeting their child is still not getting what they need so these mothers who were educated to be teachers pull their children out to do what they know needs to happen. And it can be done without an IEP when a child is homeschooled. As I chatted with one mom and telling her that I was nervous about homeschooling, she responded, "Don't worry. You will do a great job because you know your child. 90% of teaching is knowing the child. Every year that I taught school I would go to the teacher a particular child had the year before and ask HER about the child." Wow. That is interesting...and scary to me. What if that previous year's teacher told her a whole lot of negative stuff about my child...or about me? I can just imagine, "His mom is kind of annoying. She calls the school often. And he is....". I won't go there. I know that homeschooling will free us to do what needs to be done without those "special" labels. I already know James so well. I know sometimes that when he is talking even more that usual, he wants my attention and I can pick him up and set him in my lap and he is quiet. When he wants to cuddle, he will come stand next to me and wait for me to pick him up. Ahhhh. I am already 90% there. :)