I write about infidelity now because that I have experienced it first hand, I know that it's a kind of trauma that one does not fully recover from. You can never again be the person you were before it happened. You go through and endure a pain and betrayal that you never expected from the one person who said the loved you. They were the last person you expected to leave you on the floor a crumpled mess. BUT. You can go on to be happy and have a full and amazing life. It's true. I am content and I love my life. Never in a million years did I expect to be where I am today. I expected to be married to one man for the rest of my life. I expected to celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary. I expected to have a partner in raising my son.
DDay (Discovery Day of the cheating) was one year and 11 months ago. My divorce was final in October 2015. My son was 7 years old.
During those days right after confronting my now ex-husband with cell phone records, he did not make any attempts to reconcile. In fact, he laughed and told me I was overreacting. I provided a list of 3 demands I needed from him:
- Unfriend That Woman on Facebook
- Transfer to another store (they worked together)
- Admit your relationship with that woman was inappropriate and a betrayal of your marriage vow. You kept her a secret.
His response to my needs were plain. He wasn't going to transfer to a different store, they were just friends so he wasn't going to unfriend her on Facebook. He said that our marriage problems did not involve That Woman.
Funny, I didn't even know we had marriage problems. I realize now that he had a problem communicating his desire to leave our marriage. He was a coward. What made it all even more was that two weeks prior to actually finding evidence of his cheating, we were having sex. Twice. In the same day. That I initiated. Because I loved my husband. I admit this because people believe that the person who gets left was horrid and crappy to live with and made the cheater's life a living hell. Some people will believe that the faithful spouse MADE them cheat. I only wish I had power over another person that way. I certainly wouldn't have made him cheat. Someone who is living with a miserable person does not have sex with them. They do not live double lives. They leave.
I am sure that the Ex-Cheater told That Woman he wasn't happy, And she obviously didn't care that he was married. With a child. She knew of course. We'd met. Yes, she had seen my son and I in the flesh when the Ex started working with her. She was his boss. At a home improvement store. She has been married at least 3 times already. She is a grandmother. She is not 20 years younger than me, big boobs and blonde. Nope. I expected that. I figured she had to be young and beautiful. Nope she's my age and frumpy. Oh, and she lacks any morals and good character. Same as him.
So I shall write blog posts and I will post my poetry as well. Stay tuned.
So I shall write blog posts and I will post my poetry as well. Stay tuned.
